COKE WARS
by Sabertooth Kitty
Summary: Involves the cast of Episode One and a Coca-Cola machiene...


Episode 1 charecters and a COKE Machiene  
  
It's break-time at the studios where George Lucas is making   
the Episode 1 movie. As with most public places, there is a   
COKE machiene within the studio walls. Qui-Gon Jinn and   
Obi-Wan Kenobi walk up to the COKE machiene.  
  
QUI-GON: Well, after that lightsaber duel with Darth Maul, I  
am famished.  
  
OBI-WAN: I am as well, Master.  
  
QUI-GON: (taking out quarter from cloak) Now, it is time for  
a nice, cold Coca Cola.  
  
OBI-WAN: (tapping Qui-Gon on shoulder) Don't you mean Pepsi  
Cola, Master?  
  
QUI-GON: (staring at Obi-Wan) I said Coca Cola and I meant  
Coca Cola.  
  
OBI-WAN: Master, if you don't mind me saying so, you should   
try Pepsi Cola. It's really much better.  
  
QUI-GON: (angrily) Not while you're under my training, young  
Padawan learner.  
  
(Darth Maul enters from right, walks towards COKE machiene.)  
  
DARTH MAUL: (crossly) Out of my way. There are others who have  
made up their minds on what they want.  
  
QUI-GON: Then, what are you getting, Darth Maul?  
  
DARTH MAUL: Dr. Pepper.  
  
OBI-WAN: (causically) No wonder you went to the Dark Side.  
  
DARTH MAUL: Why do you say that, Jedi?  
  
OBI-WAN: Noboby in their right minds drinks Dr. Pepper.  
  
QUI-GON: Neither does anyone drink Pepsi Cola.  
  
(Anakin enters from right, walks towards COKE machiene.)  
  
ANAKIN: (brushing past Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Darth Maul)   
Excuse me, pardon me. I need to get to the COKE machiene.  
  
QUI-GON: What are you getting, Anakin?  
  
ANAKIN: A & W Root Beer, what else?  
  
OBI-WAN: No one drinks A & W Root Beer.  
  
ANAKIN: (argumentitivly) Well, I do. So, there.  
  
DARTH MAUL: Why? The taste is horrible, not to mention it  
makes you burp.  
  
ANAKIN: Why is this a problem?  
  
(Amidala enters from right, walks towards COKE machiene.)  
  
AMIDALA: Make way for the Queen of Naboo.   
  
QUI-GON: What are you going to have, Queen?  
  
AMIDALA: What anyone else would have, of course.  
  
QUI-GON, OBI-WAN, DARTH MAUL, AND ANAKIN: Which is ?!?  
  
AMIDALA: Sprite.  
  
ANAKIN: Yuck!  
  
AMIDALA: It's what I've had since I've learned to use this  
machiene, and it's going to stay that way.  
  
OBI-WAN: Your highness, why? The taste is so... bland.  
  
AMIDALA: It tastes fine to me.  
  
(Padme enters from right, walks towards COKE machiene)  
  
PADME: Could you all please move?  
  
ANAKIN: What are you getting, Padme?  
  
PADME: What are my choices?  
  
QUI-GON: Coca Cola...  
  
OBI-WAN: Pepsi Cola...  
  
DARTH MAUL: Dr. Pepper...  
  
ANAKIN: A & W Root Beer...  
  
AMIDALA: ...or Sprite?  
  
PADME: None of those. Too many calories. I'm getting a Diet  
Coke. I need to watch my wieght, after all.  
  
OBI-WAN: There isn't any taste.  
  
DARTH MAUL: ...in the drink or in your choice of drink.  
  
PADME: I think you're confused with the taste of your drinks.  
  
(Jar Jar enters from right, walks up to COKE machiene.)  
  
JAR JAR: Hidoe.  
  
AMIDALA: What are you getting?  
  
JAR JAR: (pleasingly) Orang' Crush.  
  
PADME: Don't you know how many calories are in just one can?  
  
ANAKIN: Don't forget all of the chemicals that go into it.  
  
JAR JAR: (to Anakin) Whata yousa gettin'?  
  
ANAKIN: A & W Root Beer, the best drink there is.  
  
ALL: (except Anakin) NO, IT'S NOT!!!  
  
ANAKIN: Yes, it is.  
  
(C-3PO and R2-D2 enter from right, go up to COKE machiene.)  
  
C-3PO: (greetingly) Why, hello everyone.  
  
R2-D2: Beep bop beebeep beep.  
  
ANAKIN: What are you two getting?  
  
C-3PO: I would most enjoy a Mountain Dew.  
  
R2-D2: Bop beep beep bop beebeep.  
  
C-3PO: R2, I don't know if you've noticed, but Mr. Pibb is   
only a by-product of Dr. Pepper.  
  
DARTH MAUL: What's wrong with Dr. Pepper?  
  
C-3PO: The taste, that's for sure.  
  
JAR JAR: Didn't yous knowin dat Mountian Dew isen a by-produc'  
of Sprit'?  
  
AMIDALA: The difference is the taste; Sprite is better than  
Mountain Dew and all other soft drinks.  
  
ALL: (except Amidala) NO, IT ISN'T!!!  
  
AMIDALA: Yes, it is.  
  
YODA: (walking in slowly while the others are arguing) Out of the way, you must go.  
  
EVERYONE ELSE: WHAT ARE YOU GETTING?!?  
  
YODA: Water, I request.  
  
(everyone just stares at Yoda, rolls their eyes, and gets back to arguing)  
  
YODA: (holding up some quarters) Water, I must have; water, I will get.  
  
Everyone continues arguing. Suddenly, the quarters fly out of Yoda's hands, straight through the mob of angry actors, and into the COKE machine, which trembles for a minute until a bottle of water flies out of the bottom hatch and into Yoda's hands.  
  
EVERYONE ELSE: (staring at an angry Yoda) Whoah.  
  
YODA: Water, I must have; water, I will get, I said.  
  
(everyone looks at each other and shrugs)  
  
YODA: (sighs) May the force be with you. (leaves)  
  
QUI-GON: Perhaps, Obi-Wan, I will try your "Pepsi-Cola".  
  
OBI-WAN: And I will try your "Coca-Cola", Master.  
  
(everyone eventually comprimises and they lived happily ever after. Sheesh, what a bad ending- WHAT?! It's been used too many times!)  
  
THE END (Well, could you think of a better way to say it?) 


End file.
